Fun At the Company Picnic
by Entwife Incognito
Summary: What a day at the picnic! Then a walk in the woods! Anything can happen in the wilds of nature. Jane and Lisbon aren't the only ones who think so! Just a romp, as suggested by a Tumblr Anon. One shot. No plot. RJ is dead. Warning! This story has strong sexual content. If you don't like that type of material, do not read this! Disclaimer: I own nothing about The Mentalist.


Even though she had watched him dress that morning, knew what he was wearing to the CBI picnic, there was something about Patrick Jane outdoors in the sunshine with his baggy cargo shorts, tee shirt and flip flops that was pressing all of Teresa Lisbon's H-O-T buttons. Even the golden hair on his legs glistened enticingly. Lisbon gazed mesmerized at the play of sunlight and shadow on the sleek muscular arms capped by his short sleeves, the flex of his chest and back under the thin cotton shirt, the lazy hang of the shorts low on his hips. When he was playing softball, running the bases, his shirt would lift high and his shorts seemed to barely hang on his round rump in the back, his male business the only hook for them in front. The lines of his abdomen that went on to define his groin deepened as he worked those muscles. He was sweaty, with a film of dirt and dust from his vigorous activity, his nose and cheeks pink from exposure. He looked delectable.

Baked as toasty in the sun as Jane from her earlier softball game, feeling the puffiness and wet of her nether-regions, Lisbon walked with labia so swollen they felt like slabs of fruit rubbing juice into her panties. Her nipples were drawn so tight they had pulled away from the cups of her bra, the cloth brushing them to a frenzy with any movement. Lisbon wanted Jane naked and on his back! She needed him, needed to ride him until he sounded deep inside her and she answered in kind. Her stomach was a pit of want, a hollow megaphone gathering the sexual noise from her entire body, broadcasting to her core.

Jane heard it. Or rather, saw and felt its transmission as he used his own body to feel what he saw, while she stood at the sidelines watching the game. Lisbon's posture was a little off, her fleshy bottom stuck out more and she walked as if she was playing pass-the-orange between her legs. Not so much that anyone else would notice. But he knew almost everything about her physical signals. Her cheeks puffed as she blew frustrated breath over lips she was licking too much, almost pacing in her impatience and agitation. Her arms squeezed regularly against the sides of her breasts as if she just couldn't keep them seated in her bra. His Teresa was in sexual distress! He smiled at what would be coming his way.

Short shorts allowed her legs full sun without creeping immodestly up her behind. Jane watched the tiny, shapely legs that he knew to be so strong they could make his back ache when they wrapped his waist and held him in passion deep inside her, able to move his hips only as she allowed him. She wore sneakers on her small feet. Her top was a skimpy tee that rode her waist and showed plenty of tummy and back when she reached or stretched. It outlined breasts as round as grapefruit, bouncing enticingly when she moved. A beautiful shade of pink showed her healthy skin under a sprinkling of freckles. Jane wanted to lick every one. He had to work to keep his mind on softball.

Lisbon had left the house with a crisp ponytail wagging in counterpoint to her hips, looking about fifteen years old running to the field with her mitt on her hand. Her softball game had taken its toll, the ponytail loose from its mooring, drooping at her neck and hair out at the sides. That had made her look even younger to Jane, maybe about twelve. Except for those luscious jiggling breasts. Abandoning the ponytail after the game, her hair was loose and wild by mid-afternoon, a wavy cascade of spark-struck highlights in the sun.

One of Lisbon's knees was skinned and scabby from sliding into a base. Tough as usual, she had waited until the game finished, then washed it up. It was going to be sore. Jane fantasized about kissing her and making her feel better.

When the game ended, Jane doused his head and face in the water fountain to cool down. Lisbon watched him, adding the water streaming from his face, dripping off his eyelashes and clumping his hair into glistening wads of curls to the inventory of what made her want to jump him right there, right then.

Jane looked into her eyes, relaxed and knowing. "How about we go for a little walk. Cool me down. You up to it?"

"Definitely. Let's head to the woods. It'll be shady there."

It was a tidy walk across the grounds to the edge of the trees that marked a dense patch of woods. A squirrel chattered a loud warning as they entered, making them both jump a little, then laugh as it ran up and down a limb, scolding them. Shortly after entering the woods, Jane stopped briefly to pee on a tree trunk. They followed a well-worn trail for quite a ways, encountering no one, then left it for the deeper glade, hand in hand by then. It was shady and cool under the dense canopy of old trees. Soon they found a patch of deep soft grass, ringed by young trees and various herbage they didn't recognize. The blades of grass stood long and high, but formed a sweet-smelling, dense cushion when pushed down. It was the sort of place a doe might bed down her fawn while she foraged for food nearby, protected in a blind of low boughs.

Lisbon cupped his genitals immediately. "Is this the only thing holding your pants up, Jane? I've been watching them ride your cock all day."

Trying to catch his breath from her sudden onslaught, he groaned a challenge. "Why don't you find out?"

She yanked a belt loop and his hardening goods popped out, still covered by his underwear. "Just as I thought," she breathed as she resumed fondling him over the thin cloth, fingers roaming every surface. She captured his lips and laved them with her tongue.

They stood a long time, kissing, taking time to taste, feed one another on the love they felt in the quiet of that peaceful setting. A comfortable breeze ruffled their hair, cooling their bodies from the long walk. Jane held both of Lisbon's upper arms, bracing her for his deep, questioning kisses and giving Lisbon traction to push her tongue lustily into his mouth. When he finally released her, she stepped into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his back. She couldn't stop kissing him, driving back immediately when he tried to break.

"No. No. I love you. I want to kiss you. More."

He plundered her mouth until she couldn't breathe and then showed mercy by kissing her neck and throat instead. She pulled up his shirt to mouth his nipples, feeling them tight as beebees as they trailed across her tongue. Raking off the shirt, he let it fall to the ground, moaning as he pressed his hips to her belly, rubbing his erection and whining. Then he breathed out, "I love you so much, Teresa."

Jane helped Lisbon wriggle out of her shirt while she unfastened her bra and let it fall. Her nipples looked so red to Jane that he asked about them. "They look sore. Are you all right?"

She blushed and decided to tell the truth. "Yes, but they are a little chapped. They've been erect and rubbing inside my bra for hours now. I'm so glad to have it off! I want your mouth on them. Please."

Jane looked in her warm, green eyes and smiled. The truth of her confession was like hot, flowing honey; her desire for him quickened the ache in his groin. Cupping each breast, feeling their plump warmth fill his hands made him hunger. He kissed them everywhere but used an especially gentle mouth on the nipples, tongue-sucking them tenderly, her mewling leading him on.

Finally he stopped, looking into her eyes as he pressed a hand between her legs, finding her wet through. It unnerved him, made him frantic to get at her, undoing the shorts and pulling the fabric where it clung damply to her panties. These were soaked and sticky from being long inundated with her juices and he had to peel them from her vulva as she sighed in relief. Her musk was concentrated, sharp and hot with meat and he relished it. When he placed a hand on her, he gasped at how swollen she was, filling his palm with her soft flesh.

Lisbon made sounds as if she was crying as he handled her, parting her folds with a finger and sinking it inside as he held and rubbed her with his hand and other fingers. She came apart in seconds, soaking them. The power of her orgasm made her flesh thump in his hand.

"Teresa!" he gasped, as the eroticism of the moment overtook him.

Still moaning, she started undoing his clothes and pushed them completely off his waist. She fondled his erect flesh as if her very hands were hungry for him, devouring him in unending touch. He pushed his clothing down to his ankles, stepping out of it as she continued working him. When she reached low to caress his balls, he gave a strangled cry and then gruntted rhythmically as he came, pumping jet after jet onto Teresa's breasts, watching through eyes like slits of sunlit sea as she smiled, dipped a finger and wiped it on her tongue. He smiled broadly as he began to recover his breath.

"Let's lie down," he said, and they curled up on the soft, succulent cushion of grass, touching and caressing lazily in the dappled light, legs winding and unwinding as they talked and laughed until Jane recovered. Both of them wanted more.

Finally, the passion and hunger rebuilt, he hovered over Lisbon, who no longer cared who was on top of whom. He was preparing to enter her when a squirrel screeched its chattering scold, startling them both.

"Oh wow, I think that's the same squirrel, Jane."

"I don't think he likes looking at my bare butt."

"Maybe he's gathering nuts for winter and yours look like something new."

"Hey, buddy," Jane said, rolling to his side. "I've got wood." He wagged his stiff penis at the squirrel. "But it's all for Lisbon, here. Nothing for you to gnaw on. Move along."

"Very romantic, Jane. Way to stand up for your woman," she giggled. "You gave that squirrel some real sass." The squirrel screeched overhead, bouncing from branch to branch. "But I think you just made him madder. He's looking for a way to get to your goodies, now."

"Ha ha, very funny, Lisbon." But he tucked his hips protectively anyway, lowering himself to enter her.

He gasped aloud. His eyes opened wide and then seemed to roll back in his head as he relaxed from some shock Lisbon couldn't fathom. "My god, you're swollen! Swallowing me so tight before I ever get in you."

He arched his back and pulled away so he could watch himself stab her with tiny movements, not even entering her, but rolling in labia so swollen they captured the head of his cock by themselves. "I'm not trying to tease you Lisbon, I just want to feel this on the head of my cock for awhile . . . " The look he gave her held adoration. ". . . at least once before I die."

"You're so dramatic." But a curl of desire traveled her spine at his words. The head of his cock lolling between her labia felt divine. Watching Patrick's ecstasy made her whole core call to him as his squishing movements teased her clitoris for wanting its share.

"You can't feel it from my perspective. It feels as good as your mouth." She was gazing into his eyes when he looked at her, and saw her kiss-plumped lips unoccupied. "Your mouth!" he cried as if seeing it for the first time. He fell on it, his head spinning as he felt the softness at both ends of her with both ends of himself.

His dalliance at her nether lips increased Lisbon's desire and she began to thrust at him insistently. Relenting, he entered her, his elongated erection a slow sliding snake. He could feel her lips separate and eventually wrap the base of his cock, flush against the flesh of his pubis on both sides. He'd never felt anything quite like it and couldn't stop jacking up and down to feel those tightly swollen pillows rub and wrap him like succulent angel wings.

Suddenly they heard twigs snapping and movement in the undergrowth, then voices growing closer! They stilled in their bower to see what would happen next.

"Here! Oh, Grace! I can't wait any longer!"

"I know. Wayne!"

Jane and Lisbon watched in shock as Rigsby and Van Pelt began to strip off their lower clothing and Rigsby impaled her against a large oak tree.

"Oh, my god," Lisbon whispered, listening to the noises of their lovemaking. She had turned her head away so fast when they started shedding their clothes that her neck popped.

Jane, on the other hand, watched with interest, starting a blow-by-blow running commentary in a low whisper. "Ooooo. That's what I'm talking about. Oh my god, she's lifting her l-" Lisbon poked Jane to shut him up. He poked her inside with his rigid flesh, prodding her to watch with him, but she wouldn't.

Van Pelt was moaning loudly as Rigsby lowered his hips to angle his last thrusts in as deeply as he could for his lover. His rhythmic grunting signaled when it was over.

Jane sank himself further into Lisbon, whispering, "Whoa. That was kind of hot." She pushed him and said, "Stop!" a little too loudly. He covered her mouth with his hand.

Rigsby and Van Pelt had uncoupled and began pulling up their clothing as Jane continued to watch. Van Pelt looked over as she bent to pull up her shorts and underwear and froze. "Rigsby! Someone's there!" Jerking her clothes up the rest of the way, she parted some of the foliage and her eyes went wide. "Jane?" she called out in alarm. Lisbon turned her head, her lips set in a grim line. "Oh, my god! Boss?"

Rigsby was already zipped up and Lisbon whispered a prayer of thanks that she had seen nothing of him. With a pinched smile, she lifted her hand slightly and waved to Van Pelt with her fingertips, saying nothing.

"Let's get out of here!" Rigsby pulled on Van Pelt's arm. "Sorry, Boss." He looked at Jane in the brush, closing his eyes when he saw the globes of the man's bare ass. "I didn't see anything. Nothing, Grace. You hear me?"

"Yes. Yes. All right. Me neither! Let's go!" Van Pelt couldn't bring herself to leave so abruptly as to not acknowledge her boss, much as that boss desperately wanted to be ignored, covered by Jane's naked body. "Later, Boss."

Lisbon released a quiet, "Yeh."

When they left, Jane laughed so hard he hooted and the squirrel above him raced back and forth along a branch, screeching in agitation.

"This is so not funny, Jane!"

Tears were streaming from his eyes and soon he was gasping for breath. Finally, Lisbon pinched his waist.

"Ow!" Jane stopped laughing. "What'd you do that for? That's going to make a mark." He started moving in her again, grinning as he swelled with renewed vigor. That had been better than a porno movie!

"We need to get up."

"What? What for? Go talk it out? I think they want to forget it. Let's do the same." He began to kiss her neck and behind her ear, a place he knew she couldn't resist. Then he whispered there, "I want to finish making love to you, Teresa. Can't you feel how much?" He spiraled into her and seated himself at the bottom of her vagina, massaging her there until she was breathless.

"You're right," she gasped. "Give them time to get away and never speak of it again." She opened her legs wider so that Jane could drill into her as deep as he could get.

It wasn't long until orgasm for Jane, titillated by the voyeuristic thrill that had taken him by surprise and buried deep inside the woman he loved. "Oh, fuck! Lisbon!"

It wasn't much warning, but Lisbon ground on him as he pulsed into her and she followed him over the edge, gripping him as he moaned in her ear at the continuing stimulation of her contractions. He lingered inside her without moving as her heartbeat pounded around him.

When they got up to dress, Lisbon couldn't find her panties. "Damn! How could something bright red get lost in all this greenery?" She finally gave up and put on her shorts without them. On a high branch above, the squired chewed his new nesting material into bright red strips, making a nice addition to his bed for the night!

They were quiet on the walk back to the picnic area except for Jane's infernal bouts of giggling. They sat in the chairs they brought and drank at least three more beers apiece, Lisbon staring across the grounds and not saying much. Jane still giggled from time to time. When he was particularly overcome, he would hold his longneck bottle towards Lisbon so that she could tap hers against it in a toast to their unforgettable tryst in the woods.

After about the fourth toast, Lisbon had had enough. "Okay, Jane. I admit, it has its funny side." She looked directly at him and rolled her eyes. "But this isn't junior high and they didn't just catch their big brother and his girlfriend making out. There are serious agency issues here."

"Meh. Serious, schmerious. Liaisons between agent and consultant are a gray area at best."

"That's what we're having? A liaison."

He gave her a sharp stare and then pouted. "You know that's not what I mean. At all. Don't fuck with my head, Lisbon. It hurts. I'm just using agency terms and you know it." His lower lip stuck out, a sure sign that he was hurt, bordering on angry.

"All right. All right. Don't pout. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

"Now Grace and Wayne . . . that's something else. As you know."

"I don't know anything."

"That's my girl. Let's keep life simple for as long as we can." He tipped his bottle at her again and she clanked hers against it.

They stayed and watched the stars peek out and the moon rise. Someone started a fire in a barbeque grate and it made for a very cheery evening. When they were sober enough to drive, they went home.

Three days later, the embarrassment and emotional discomfort between the two couples was waning as they got used to pretending ignorance of each other. But for Jane and Lisbon, there was a growing physical discomfort. Lisbon was scratching her right hip and outer thigh. Jane scratched the same areas on his left, but his left arm was also affected. Both broke out in watery blisters and the rash was spreading fast.

"I think we're going to have to make a trip to the infirmary, Lisbon. This is getting bad."

"I know. Me, too. You go in this time."

"Me? Why me?"

"I went in when you spanked me raw that time. We both used the medicine. You go in and get our medicine this time." She looked at him pointedly, her eyes wide and dewy. It was only fair.

"Oh, that's not fair, Lisbon. You can't look at me with big eyes like that and bend me to your will." He watched as her brow furrowed and her bottom lip poked out. "Lisbon," he said warningly. She did not relent. "Is this some kind of a test?" She continued to look into his eyes silently. "Damn! Fine. I'll go."

"Make sure you get enough medicine for the both of us, Jane."

"Of course." He left, shaking his head and muttering the inconvenience of it all, even though he knew it was fair that he take his turn.

When he returned, he said, "Get your things now! We have to get to the pharmacy."

She did as he asked, catching him in the elevator. "Hey, you're scaring me, Jane. What have we got?"

"You remember all that greenery on the edge of our little bower in the woods?"

She nodded, awaiting the bad news.

"Poison ivy. We've got steroids and some kind of soak and an ointment or lotion, I don't know which."

"Crap!"

"The doctor gave me the stink eye when I asked her for treatment for two."

"You didn't tell her it was for me . . . ?"

"Of course not. I convinced her she didn't need to know. She finally just wrote the scripts for double."

"You convinced her? The doctor? With what, 'These aren't the droids you're looking for?'" Lisbon rolled her eyes. The man could make a woman do anything. Then she cut her eyes sharply at him. He winked. Surely he hadn't hypnotized the doctor? She definitely did not want to ask on the chance he might tell her the truth.

They took their pills with dinner, and then made a party of soaking in the tub together. They made love in the added bubbles, Lisbon finally getting her ride on top, sloshing water all over the floor. Slathering each other with the lotion, they tried to sleep on their regular sides of the bed, affected sides adjacent. But the warmth and contact aggravated their itching. Finally they traded sides and suffered the alien feeling of trying to sleep on the wrong sides of the bed.

"You know, Lisbon? Even though it was something of a disaster, I would fuck you in the woods all over again. It was the best."

"Unh. Thank you, Jane," Lisbon murmured, falling asleep. "I think I'd fuck you anywh-."

Jane smiled, picked up her limp hand, kissed the fingertips and set it gently down. He rolled to her, tucked his head into the crook of her neck, wedged his hands above his knees and followed her into peaceful oblivion.


End file.
